One of my colleagues at the paper that I write for recently wrote a very negative piece on pornography. She talked about how watching porn gives young women eating disorders (because she seems to be under the impression that porn stars have “perfect” bodies) and spent much of her article quoting “experts” who think that porn, even homemade porn is damaging to women. She quoted things like “It [making homemade porn] doesn’t have anything to do with their [women's] sexual pleasure … It has to do with pleasing somebody else — the grasping for attention.” She then goes on to claim that as long as women are viewing (or starring) in porn for their own pleasure, the detrimental effects of it are DIMINISHED (but not non-existent?!). She (my colleague) also quotes some other “expert” who claims that watching (and making their own) porn sexualizes women, which apparently is bad because “the sexualization of young women and girls, in particular, can hurt them in many ways. Problems can include anything from low self-esteem and eating disorders to depression and anxiety.”
Who knew I was in so much danger just by watching porn and/or being “sexualized”!?
Anyway, my colleague (who claims to be a feminist by the way) concludes her porn bashing article by mumbling something about how the problem isn’t so much the porn, because it’s just reflecting cultural beliefs, and that is where the “real” problem lies.
If you haven’t been able to guess, I was not very impressed with this article. So I set out to write a piece on the positive aspects of pornography, starting with how it’s a great aphrodisiac and can be a wonderful tool for couples.
The following is a large portion of what I sent in to be published in the paper this week:
__
When your penis/clitoris is touched in a sexual situation, the sensitive nerves on these organs transmit signals up to your brain and spinal cord telling the rest of your body that you are aroused and your body responds: your pupils dilate, your breath and heart rate increase, and your sexual organs start producing lubrication. But there’s something else that can set these wheels in motion too; just seeing an attractive, naked member of the sex that you desire, with their sexual equipment exposed triggers the body’s arousal reactions too! And looking at pictures of naked people is processed by the brain in pretty much the same way as seeing the person in the flesh – yes, this applies to both men AND women!
Pornography is the most powerful, most reliable, and safest aphrodisiac out there. Even better is that, in our current society, it’s incredibly easy (for consenting adults) to obtain porn; just a few key presses on your computer keyboard and you can Google yourself and your partner into a sublime state of arousal.
As a sex-positive feminist (well, humanist) I support pornography. There’s nothing inherently degrading to women about it – all the women in legit porn are well paid and have volunteered to appear in whatever rolls they have been offered. They are on screen because they enjoy sex and don’t mind being paid for doing it – it’s freedom of speech baby (or in this case freedom of moans).
But, if your sensibilities are offended by certain types of porn (as mine can be), another wonderful thing about pornography is that there truly is something for everyone; from the softcore “pretty porn” fans, to persons who enjoy female domination, to those of you who enjoy bukkake and a little bondage.
And not all porn uses slim models with inflated breasts; it’s very easy to find natural looking women and men, even overweight women and/or men, if that’s what you’re interested in.
If you’re not enjoying the porn you’re seeing, then you’re not looking hard enough for something you/your body will like.
Many people think that women don’t/won’t enjoy pornography just because some either don’t know how to find stuff that they like, or have been turned off by what they have found. We can be just as horny as you guys, but the thing is many women do not enjoy the same kinds of porn that men do. Sometimes it’s hard to identify with the women we see in porn designed for men – we couldn’t imagine ourselves being her and don’t find ourselves attracted to her: seeing a silicon-y woman being flipped around into a hundred different positions and shared between 3 guys with hardly a moment to breathe doesn’t always do it for female porn viewers.
So here is where what has been called “couple/woman friendly” pornography comes in; porn without excessive oral, without the money shot, porn with pretty men as well as women, and with some plot to turn you on mentally as well as physically.
__
No I don’t think that women being “sexualized” is wrong – it can be very empowering. And I don’t think being empowered and taking control of your own sexuality is damaging to women – I certainly don’t see how it “causes” young women to acquire eating disorders and depression.
Sure porn doesn’t often show you real relationships, heck it doesn’t even always show you “real” women – but Hollywood doesn’t either. Both the porn industry and the mainstream movie industry strive to show us different exaggerations of “ideal” reality and we’re supposed to be able to tell the difference. Love isn’t usually how we see it portrayed in the cinema, sex isn’t usually how we see it portrayed in porn. We’re not supposed to think that our lives should be exactly like anything we see on TV, in the Movies, or in Porn – we’re just supposed to be entertained or, in the case of porn, be turned on enough to have sex/masturbate and have a fun time.
As a pro-porn feminist (humanist, Shay?), I have seen that a lot of the problems feminists have with porn are mostly present in the worst of male-centered pornography (for lack of a better term). By that I mean porn that shows women as interchangeable, subhuman, without agency, and as objects to be used primarily for the sexual gratification of men. It’s porn that sexualizes rape, violence (out of the context of BDSM play), and total disregard for women’s humanity that so many feminists have problems with, myself included. We have problems with the way a lot of young men seem to use said porn as a how-to in their early relationships. We see porn where it is obvious that none of the women are enjoying themselves, and are sometimes even apparently in pain without being in pleasure. It’s stuff like this that gets so many feminists upset.
We get upset when we read articles about women going under the knife to get genitals just like their lover’s favorite porn star. Obviously, a lot of women do think porn stars in mainstream porn have ideal bodies, and can you blame them? Women, especially here in the US, are told over and over by society that their worth rests almost entirely on their looks, their sexuality, and their ability to please men. They see the porn that so many men are into and it doesn’t take a genius to add two and two.
And I know, not all porn is like that. And I’m purposely excluding BDSM from my critique because I know that’s an entirely different thing when talking about sexual degradation and violence in porn. A lot of women (feminists included) don’t know that there is woman-friendly porn out there, because, let’s be honest, it’s not easy to find and there is very little of it compared to the amount of porn made without them in mind.
I don’t want to start a shitstorm here in the comments about porn, so please remember that I’m not a representative for all feminists, nor am I a porn expert.
Yeah. I go back and forth on that. I used to find facials degrading to women, until I talked to hot women who totally got fire in the loins when their guy spooged all over their face.
As long as everybody’s having a good time, more power to them.
But there’s that “arrogant cocksucker” porn that annoys the shit out of me. The guy won’t shut the fuck up when he is obviously irritating and hurting the feelings of the girl. I can’t fucking stand that. That makes me want to pound the guy with a brick — not fuck the girl. I just don’t get it.
There was a clip on the net I saw a couple of years ago, and these miserable cocksuckers talked a girl into having sex for money, and then the guy broke in with the camera and blackmailed her into fucking the guy for free so that he wouldn’t show the film to her boyfriend. If I knew where those two cocksuckers lived I’d leave them bleeding in the moonlight.
kxo – Thank you for your comment, I can appreciate your point of view. I recognize that you did make an effort not to fallaciously bring BDSM porn into the discussion, but the examples that you did provide were still extreme – I would not consider the porn you described at all “average”. Yes, I don’t like the idea of young men using porn as a “how to”, but I also don’t like the idea of women using Hollywood’s ideas as a “how to” either (which is common). I think that the mainstream media does A LOT more to damage women than pornography does – partly because it’s not as mainstream as regular movies, magazines, and television. But that doesn’t mean I say we should disregard it as an influence, I just think that if we’re going to start attacking things that destroy some women’s self esteem, we should go after the big bads.
Anyway, I think the conclusion you and I both seem to have reached is that women are still being neglected as a market when it comes to porn. Maybe it’s because there aren’t as many women-oriented films out there, but maybe there aren’t as any films for us out there because we are not indicating that we want it. So what can we do to encourage women to watch more porn so that more porn can be made for us?
Gad – ugh! I hate those talking guys! Even if they aren’t saying more than “yeah baby, that’s so hot, etc” it can still totally ruin it for me. Sounds like amateur internet porn can attract some shitheads. But I also kinda wonder how true that story you mentioned is, not that I’m doubting you (I never saw the clip), but could it have been just a story to attract attention to the clip and increase traffic?
I wondering because I’ve seen other porn where the girls are supposed to be random women off the street or something, but they totally aren’t.
Man, I just typed a really long reply and it got eaten. I hate my internet service.
Shay, I think you and disagree on the pervasiveness of that kind of porn, probably because of different exposures to it. I can’t do a search (even with really specific keywords) for what I want because I just don’t have the patience to sift through literally hundreds of those sites before maybe finding one thing I like. Thank heaven for referrals and linkage from other bloggers!
I thoroughly agree with you that the mainstream media is a much, much bigger problem. I don’t think, though, that we can fix one and then work on the other–the two are so interwoven that people that want to see the problem fixed need to attack on both fronts.
And, yeah, we are still being neglected as a porn market. One area i have seen absolutely explode in recent years is translated yaoi. In the seven years I’ve been a consumer of yaoi, what’s been available has gone from a handful of untranslated manga titles, bootleg anime videos, and a bit of fanfic on the internet to being a huge and ever-growing market, fed both by fans on the web and major corporations. I’ve seen some things I don’t like in yaoi, like sexualized rape, but overall my outlook is positive.
Erotica in fanfiction and fanart form has also exploded on the net, but thanks to the death grip copyright law has over the US, I doubt much, if any, of that will go mainstream.
Plenty of internet-savvy women and anime and manga fans have expressed their interests loud and clear, but I haven’t seen an adequate response from the porn industry. Also, I’m dismayed by the lack of yuri for women being translated. Even on the ‘net it’s still a chore to find.
Hiya, Shay…Just wanted to say it’s refreshing to see an intelligent and thoughtful approach, from a woman’s point of view, on the subject of porn. I think a lot of women are disgusted or apathetic to porn because they have simply been conditioned to do so. Seems a lot of women hear, or are told, how degrading or disgusting it is, and use that as a basis to develop strong negative feelings toward it in general. And I will agree that there is a huge market for porn where women are degraded, but note the word, market. This is porn that is intended for those, mostly male, whose fantasies include dominance and power play. This doesn’t reflect on the average porn consumer, only a subsect.
And as for the so-called “chick-trick” porn producers… Well, these guys make a living off of making fantasy seem like reality. Let’s face it, these guys would be in prison if there were any truth to what they do. In most cases the women are paid professionals, and I’ve seen quite a few of them on other amateur sites or even in larger-scaled productions. They only seem to be taken advantage of and “tricked” by these guys.
Thanks for keeping an open mind, Shay, and not being afraid to post it for other curious and open-minded people!
Shay: I thought about that, but the girl would have had to be a really good actress, which is wholly within the realm of possibility. But I didn’t want to watch it again to make a final determination.
yay for you Shay for speaking up for the women out there that don’t agree that all porn is bad!
well as a porn watcher, what i can say is that in all the years of watching porn i realised that i got tired of the holywood porn where the girls sucked a cock for like more than half of the vid and the woman didn’t orgasm. for the love of god when i want to see porn i want to see woman having pleasure i dont whant to stare at a guys cock and watch him come. XD
and so i stoped watching that kind of porn and i started reading hentai, where at least the characters had sex for a reason.
as for sexualising womans i think that woman should be encouraged to discover their sexuality, instead of just suppress it or distort it, wich is what our current culture do.
Man everyone wrote these long in depth comments. All I have to say is that I agree with Shay and so does my wife. So… Here Here, HURRAY for PORN!
Good porn (meaning porn I like) seen or read in moderation can be a total turn on accasionally. It doesn’t do naything for me but give me new visuals to either entertain myself, or my partner when we atch it together. Never caused me to have an eating disorder, either.
Your colleague just needs to get laid.
Well.
Long live porn.
I don’t believe viewing porn causes a woman to suffer from depression, low self-esteem, or eating disorders. That’s hysterical propaganda. Name any twig-thin actress or model and you’ll find more damage done and at an earlier, more impressionable age.
However, let’s look at the economics of good porn versus bad porn. We agree we would like to see more good porn (see Shay’s writing or anyone’s comments above). Does good porn support itself? Is there enough of a niche market for Tony Comstock’s films for him to continue? Tristan Taormino? How do we in the blog community make it easier for folks to find the right porn for them? I don’t have the answer. I just know we can’t expect folks to look a so many things they don’t like in order to find the one thing they do like. And that’s where we’re at.
Certain academic arguments against porn I call “Theory-Porn” where the argument is supposedly so “perfectly” placed it can’t offer contrary truthes within its discourse, and the money-shot is always the same worn referenced ideas passed on by a hardline few regardless of centuries of human commitment to sexual worship, and thousands of years worth of varying sexual/pornographic texts and diversity.
Rups
kxo – it almost seems like all it would take is a few enterprising companies with the know-how and the motivation to really effect a change and bring more of what we want into the market.
Anon1- Thanks Anon ^_^
Gad – I’ll put that in the “mysteries that may never be solved” pile then ^_~
DFP – Yes! There is bad porn, but there is also great porn – and, more importantly, there is porn that works for me, porn that works for you and porn that works for that couple over there (etc).
Narcissu – Yes, whenever I watch a “regular” porn, I always fast forward past the oral and stop it before the money shot. Hentai mangas really seem to be where it’s at for hot little plots and sexual variety. And YES! I was sick to my stomach when I read that quote from someone who thinks that women being “sexualized” is dangerous! What is this, The 1800′s?!
CayJ – lol
LA- good ^_^
Strumpet – (good to see you girl!) LOL I agree!!
Prospero – There is SO much porn out there, you’re right about how it really can be a HUGE chore to find stuff that you like – which does make bloggers who recommend porn and sites that review porn and porn sites really useful. That’s the only way I can really think of, unless you’re buying it in a store (online or not) that is very specific about what you can expect from different films.
Rupert – Right, any avid porn watcher is bound to come across something they don’t like at some point – but we all know that there’s also tons of stuff that we DO like out there. It’s silly to say that ALL porn is bad or even that ALL porn degrades women, when that’s not even remotely true.
If I could find those guys with the blackmailing and all you mentioned, I would very much like to practice some of what I know on him…
Facials and other forms of erotic acts, they all depend on the point of view; the greatest lover I’ve ever had loved playing, licking, swallowing, rubbing semen… Doing so was one of her greatest pleasures, thus making facials and pearl necklaces a favourite of hers, amongst others.
Another ex of mine abhored porn while we were together, but she recently told me how she enjoys watching it – before she even told me, I knew it had to do with how most porn is so appaling to her (no real plot, little care for the woman [how many porn films really show a woman coming, anyway!? Less than 5%, for sure...], etc.).
As for the feminist movement, I’d hardly ever put it one way or another; for one thing, all of you should watch the movie “The Operation” if you find it – it’s an excellent experimental porn film, featuring the use of infrared filming and, yes, it’s quite erotic in a number of ways. Funny thing about it (and the main reason I looked it up) is because it’s been made by a famous feminist phographer, who’s very well known for her erotica series – she openly promotes porn, mind you.
There’s so much more on the subject, I really cannot think of something to say next…